Episode #135 – Unintentional Mistakes to Avoid When You Are in a New Relationship
A new relationship is something many of us look forward to. For some of us, we’ve enjoyed the single life long enough and we’re looking to get back into the swing of things. After playing the sidelines for so long, you’re probably thinking you’re ready again.
We know the feeling, right? The feeling of deep bliss right before it all comes crashing down right before us. That is where we wake up from our false beliefs and start addressing what’s in front of us. Too many times do we walk into a new relationship with a lack of understanding.
After all, it’s far easier to see faults in others than it is for us to look at ourselves in the mirror. We walk into it with great hopes but know nothing of what is to come. We believe we know one another, but yet, we know very little. And with very little to go on, trust-building becomes an adventure.
But fear not, I will share with you a few new relationship mistakes you would do well to avoid.
You’re Worth and You Should Know It
Before you can introduce yourself to a new relationship, you might want to get reacquainted with yourself. Many of us believe we know ourselves, but in reality, we really don’t. Many of us believe that finding someone is what completes us.
Although that may be true to a certain extent, your completion does not solely rely on someone else. As a matter of fact, your being whole is what truly makes you complete. Without the relationship within, you cannot cultivate relationships beyond.
So when considering a new relationship, be careful as to who you devote your time. Sometimes absence is the best evaluation of one’s worth. Take time for yourself, in rebuilding who you are so that they know, that you are true.
Know Your Audience
I believe in transparency. Because without it how will the other person know that you are true? How many times have you met someone, and only share too much information that causes them to leave? This, in itself, is a true testament to knowing your audience, the candidate you look to court. A new relationship can be a bit tricky, but the end goal of finding someone is what should drive us.
Who are you investing time in? Do you know anything about this person? I know how sharing information on an initial date can be hard. After all, we are both looking both ways before crossing the straight. In other words, Each person treads lightly, until the coast is clear. We care only about what we want them to know about us and how they will perceive us as a result.
Take the time to understand who you are dealing with so that your investment is well spent.
Insecurity Kills New RElationships
Let’s face it, we are all insecure to a certain degree. That’s a common mistake most of us fall for. Some of us want the one we meet to be ours. That means, long before the bells have rung, we find ourselves holding on from letting go.
I know the feeling. After being single for so long, things change. You start to long for something you wish you had. Your urge to create this relationship can have you pushing a bit harder than you need to. Slow down a bit and choose patience.
You enter into a new relationship with one goal and one goal only. It’s not to make the catch as soon as possible. It’s about seeing the catch, and allowing it to organically flourish into what you’ll find to be ideal. No need to rush what you want forever, so be mindful of what your insecurities are so they don’t stand in the way of what you want.
The Past Stands Still
Every new relationship has its highs and lows. That’s what an adventure is all about. But what we once experienced before, need not be carried forward. The moment is where everything is happening. Therefore a new relationship that fails to live there, get’s left behind.
Too many times do we carry on from the past relationship onto another. The problem is, the one we’re carrying it to had nothing to do with it. Projecting our pain, fears, or traumas onto someone seeking love can be detrimental to the outcome.
Remember, the past is the past, and that is where it should stay. What was done is done, and what is to come shall be. So if you are to give your new relationship the best chance, start anew. You’re not only giving them a chance, but you’re giving yourself a chance as well.
Join me for Episode #136 – How to Stay Strong When Everything Goes Wrong.
We are all going through this thing called life the best we can. Therefore, despite how things are going for you now, they’re bound to go wrong. It’s only a matter of time. The question is, what do you do as a result?