How to Live When Someone You Love Dies
I know it gets hard when someone you love dies, but through these times, we must find a reason to live. The most hardest times we have as creatures is dealing with losses. Naturally, the only thing that is inevitable is that we must all go. And for some reason, despite us knowing this, we still find it hard to take.
The pain we endure when someone we love dies has a lot to do with the role that person played in our lives. For many, no connection is needed to feel a level of pain towards a life lost. Just hearing the news of someone passing for any reason, breaks the soul. It always brings us back to center, reminding us just how unpromised and unpredictable life is.
Dealing with A Lost One
The hardest part in losing someone you love is accepting living without them. All of the plans and goals once spoken, in our minds, no longer exist, no longer possible. Based on the level of connection we were able to build, it may take an even bigger toll on us. Truth is, although we know it’s coming in some shape or form, we’re never really ready to accept it.
I believe that it is the only reality that sinks in after you actually experience it. And although we tend to say that life is short, we’re never really able to measure what long really is. It’s only short because we never expect it to happen when it does. No matter how much the world shows us just how one second can change to the next, we never tend to feel the effect.
We just continue to live as if the next episode won’t be for a while. Death has no schedule nor does it give you a heads up. Every day is a blessing, therefore, every day should be cherished. And every day should be a reminder of how precious this life is.
Losing loved ones has taught me how to accept both sides of the truth. In order to be fair to myself and the higher power that makes living this life possible, the other side is just as important. And the truth is, although I’ve lost someone I love, I still have everything they’ve given me. I’ve built so much with them that can never fade. Now that’s fair.
Healing Through Gratitude
I found that being appreciative for life helps me get through dealing with a lost. When functioning from a place of gratitude, my focus takes a shift. I turn from what I’ve lost and lock into everything I was able to gain. Therefore, instead of asking myself, “How will I move on without you,” I respond, “I got so much from you that will help me keep going.”
The moment I started to relish the memories and the discussion as living, the healing process was more bearable. In other words, how could someone truly die if we to do our part in constantly keeping them alive? Just to be clear, keeping them alive doesn’t mean wearing an in loving memory t-shirt with their picture on it. It doesn’t mean keeping them in conversation either. It means keeping your word and the promises you made, carrying on the torch.
When someone you love dies, you have the ability to allow them a place within you to live. But the only thing that makes it worth living is if it represents your truth. When I lost my buddy, I made a resolve to carry on with the promises I made. We all wanted to be successful, so, therefore, I knew I would have to attain that success. Because even when I didn’t want to, I knew that the torch was in my hand. Therefore, I had to push through for the living while my early exiters rested. It’s my responsibility to create different ways to push through so that their death be not in vain.
Making Someone You Love Proud
When I lost my grandmother, I had so many of our conversations that were available to me to relive. I was approaching my final semester and had no interest in walking across that stage. But I told her if she hung in there I would not only finish strong but that I would walk with her in the audience cheering me on. Although she didn’t hang on, the promise I made to finish strong stayed with me. Taking 7 classes while working full-time as an intern was no match for the determination I had to make good on my words. In essence, I didn’t let her die, I carried her through the finish line.
So to all those that have left us, thank you. Thank you for all of your contributions and all of the steps you’ve created so that we can continue to climb. I smile not because you are gone, but because I know that through my soul, you will always have a home to continue living long after your existence. I am not only grateful for experiencing you, but I’m also grateful for that energy of yours that continues to float around. So true that although you are gone, you continue to be felt.
To all the legends we’ve lost in the recent days and months, we thank you. You’ve shown through your actions the beauty in creating a life after your demise, for the seeds you planted were many. You’ve inspired many people. We celebrate the plants that have grown and continue to grow in your name. You’ve planted way too many seeds to not be felt.
Life is a beautiful thing. Let’s cherish it every chance we get. 🙏🏾