Steps to Handle Conflict in Your Relationship
To be capable of maintaining non-conflict in a relationship is not just a function of goodness of heart but also a strength of mind. The reason is that there would most likely be issues that are experienced in the form of relational conflicts. Albeit this is not true, the way you deal with conflicts in your interpersonal relationships with people every day reflects how you might deal with conflicts in personal relationships.
Why is resolving conflict in marriage or conflict resolution for couples a necessary art to learn? Is it because there is a strong, long-term commitment. Or is it because the outcome of the resolution may have a life-changing effect on either party?
If you are currently experiencing conflict in your marriage or relationship and are seeking ways of resolving it? Then the steps below are fundamental for you to experience peace and long-lasting happiness.
Practise Good Listening Skills
In communication, everyone wants to speak, want to be heard, even if they are not talking. It is good to know how to communicate your feelings to your partner. But it is even better to know how to listen to them and know how they feel. Oftentimes, what is being said is not exactly how it is being felt by the speaker. Practising good listening skills helps to complete the sentences or fill in the gaps when there are no words, and this is particularly helpful in avoiding conflicts in relationships. One way to do this is to observe the body language or the gesture of your spouse or partner.
To avoid conflict in relationships—when you are not sure about something, for example, a course of action that you feel may lead to a conflict, ask questions. Sometimes, questions are also helpful to understand contexts in conflicts. For instance, it would be needful to empathetically ask your partner questions about the love of his/her work if you notice he/she is irritable only after returning from work. For your spouse or partner not to feel overwhelmed by your questions, it may be helpful to covertly ask older people for opinions.x
This may sound like jumping into the conflict itself, but in reality, it is not. It is confronting the issues head-on rather than leaving them to ferment into a strong conflict which leaves everyone drunk in anger or other negative emotions. Arguments actually present a platform where couples or partners can have an open and honest conversation.
It lets them air their feelings without feeling shy or intimidated. This is helpful in understanding each couples’ perspective on the subject matter and apply the first two steps already discussed above. But remember to maintain a very calm demeanour during heated conversations. And if the argument is spiralling out of control, take a walk away.
Albeit on rare occasions, relational or relationship conflicts may be caused by factors that are not entirely the fault of the couples. Most conflicts are due to mistakes of either or both spouse or partner. The reality is that mistakes are bound to happen, and if you want to be free in your marriage or relationship life, you must have the provision or allowance for mistakes. When mistakes happen, forgiveness is the best medicine to deal with the conflicts that may arise. For example, arguments cannot save a relationship or marriage that is scarred by cheating. Only forgiveness can.
Take Full Responsibility For Your Actions
Saying you’re sorry and/or asking for forgiveness is just one part of conflict resolution for couples. The other part is putting in the effort to avoid conflicts of such nature in the future. Taking full responsibility for your actions means owning the consequences of your mistakes.
Then treat them until your partner forgives or forgets completely, even if it may hurt your ego. This may be the hardest part yet the most therapeutic. This is because the pain of the acceptance/restitution process would be a constant reminder of why you should not make the same mistake again.
To build sustainable relationship, you have to follow the above-listed points and more. Though not just limited to the points mentioned above. The best way to achieve a conflictless relationship is learning more about your partner and sacrificing.